


If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more

by technicallyimawriter



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Feels, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Art Student Magnus Bane, Confident Alec Lightwood, Doctor Alec Lightwood, Fluff, Jace Wayland Being a Little Shit, M/M, POV Alec Lightwood, Shy Magnus Bane, Simon Lewis & Alec Lightwood Friendship, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, but they are both messes when it comes to the other, so what's new
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:28:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24428785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/technicallyimawriter/pseuds/technicallyimawriter
Summary: “You need a hobby.”It’s the first thing that he hears in this beautiful morning, ruined by the voice of his brother. Jace likes to remind him that he’s adopted whenever Alec is acting stupid, much to his chagrin.Alec rolls his eyes, not even deeming important to turn his head. “I have a hobby. Several of them.”Jace snorts next to him and then he hears him opening a bag. “Eye-fucking Magnus is not a hobby, Alec.”Alec disagrees— like with anything that comes from Jace’s mouth.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Simon Lewis & Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis & Jace Wayland
Comments: 11
Kudos: 224
Collections: Favorite Malec Stories





	If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more

**Author's Note:**

> :)
> 
> I told my beta that I ran out of ideas for Malec and then I was hit with [this](https://magnusandalexander.tumblr.com/post/619360410747928576/izzymalec-jace-you-need-a-hobby-alec-i-have-a) post and the muses started working, and here we are. So, yeah, Amy, if you're reading this, I lied lol
> 
> Writing this felt like coming home. Honestly.
> 
> Not beta read, we dies under the weight of our mistakes.

Alec knows is rude to stare, knows that he will be caught if he keeps it up— he was raised better than this _dammit_ — but he can’t help it. He just can’t; he has the most beautiful thing across from him and Alec likes to appreciate beautiful things. He could do well by being an art critic but he had to go for med school.

“You need a hobby.”

It’s the first thing that he hears in this beautiful morning, ruined by the voice of his brother. Jace likes to remind him that he’s adopted whenever Alec is acting stupid, much to his chagrin.

Alec rolls his eyes, not even deeming important to turn his head. “I have a hobby. Several of them.”

Jace snorts next to him and then he hears him opening a bag. “Eye-fucking Magnus is not a hobby, Alec.”

Alec disagrees— like with anything that comes from Jace’s mouth.

Magnus Bane is the most beautiful man Alec has laid eyes ever since he started college. Alec is sure that Magnus barely knows about him but he contents himself knowing that the man knows his name, his _full_ name. Jace has been giving him shit for being too far gone but Alec can’t help it. Magnus is just way too beautiful not too fall for him.

Alec could write poems and sonnets just about his eyes but he would end up short and still missing some important words to describe him.

Magnus is an art major— no wonder; beautiful things have to work together—, and it’s probably a little older than Alec by two years but as the saying goes _age is just a number_ and Alec just can’t wait for the day that he grows the courage to talk to the man.

As confident and cocksure that he likes to think of himself, he just can’t talk to him before saying something stupid and it really doesn’t help that every time that he has tried, Magnus turns into this beautiful blushy mess and it’s just— It’s an inconvenience.

“I think you should mind your own business,” Alec mumbles, turning his gaze into the long-forgotten book in his hands. He has been planning on doing some light reading outside on campus while waiting for his next class but all was forgotten when Magnus sat down several feet away with his own group.

It would be so easy to just stand up and go there, talk to the man and end this misery. He just can’t understand why it is so hard.

“Minding your business is _my_ business.” Jace’s reply came with a flurry of crumbs landing on his book.

“Can you swallow first? _Jesus,”_ Alec growls, sweeping the crumbs away. When it hits what he just said, he raises a pointed finger to his brother, “don’t you dare.”

Jace is already showing a mischievous grin, still chewing his chips. “I wasn’t going to say anything.”

“I know your dirty mind. Save it.”

Jace raises his hands in surrender and keeps munching his snack while Alec just closes his book and gives in into _not_ staring at Magnus. The last conversation they had— if that could even be called a conversation— went something along the lines of… short:

_This time he will ask Magnus out and he’s 99% sure that Magnus will say yes, so taking a deep breath, he strides the few feet from them and stands closer to the group. Magnus is always with someone, so making a fool of himself is always a high stake._

_The first to notice him is Simon, who shoots him an encouraging smile. Having your best friend_ — _much to Jace’s dismay_ — _among your crush’s closest friend really works wonders._

_The group goes silent when they finally notice him and then Magnus is turning, looking at him with those brown eyes, framed with golden eyeliner and it’s just beautiful. Words can’t measure this level of beauty._

_He knows that he’s repeating that same word over and over again but it’s hard to think when Magnus is already looking at him._

_“Alexander,” Magnus says, and his own name sounds like a melody coming from that mouth. He’s smiling and his cheeks are already tinted with this pinkish hue. “Hi.”_

_Alec swallows, willing himself to say something clever, something that will stick, something_ — “ _Hi, there.”_

_He hears the “oh, Jesus,” “oh my God,” coming from the group and when Alec looks up, Simon is the one sending him two thumbs up with a grimace. He’s the only one who has faith that this conversation will go smoothly. Alec doesn’t have much hope._

_“You wanted to say something to Magnus, right Alec?” Simon chimes in when the silence goes on for too long, shooting him a pointed look. “Right?”_

_“Right, yes.” He goes back to looking at Magnus. “So, I wanted… I wanted to ask you… Is that eyeliner new? I’m sure my sister would love to buy it.”_

_He ignores the disappointment groans and the “this is bad” coming from Ragnor Fell’s mouth. Alec agrees. He’s disappointed too._

_If Magnus feels that way, he fakes it smoothly. “Yeah, I don’t… I don’t remember the name right now but I can let her know.”_

_Alec nods and with what’s left of his dignity, he turns and leaves._

Alec shakes his head at the memory. It was a fiasco and he just can’t understand why his brain turns off every time Magnus is around. It’s embarrassing, borderline pathetic.

“For someone who fucked his way around this place, I don’t understand why you’re such a mess,” Jace says, his gaze now on his phone. “I’ve never seen you like this. It’s new.”

Alec hums but has nothing to add simply because his brother is right. His body count is an achievement of his own, not that he likes to brag; his life under the sheets is his alone and no one has to know. But the thing about it is that Alec _knows_ the moves; he knows how to turn his charm to the max, he knows what to say, what to do. He knows how to grab someone’s attention so it can work on his favor.

But when it comes to Magnus, all of that disappears and what’s left is a boy who doesn’t know how to speak.

It’s ridiculous.

“Tell me about it,” Alec mumbles at the end. It’s new for him too.

Right at that moment, Simon shows up and grabs Jace’s bag of chips out of his hands. Jace looks lost at one moment and then he’s glaring at Simon.

“Only for that, you deserve Raphael breaking up with you. Heathen.”

Simon snorts and keeps munching next to Alec, leaving him right in the middle. “Wouldn’t you love for that to happen?”

“Cute but no. I have my heart saved for Maia Roberts,” Jace says, pocketing his phone.

At that, both Simon and Alec snort. “No offense but at least Magnus knows my name. Maia hates your guts,” Alec says with Simon nodding and laughing.

“That’s how great love stories start, Alec. I can’t spend the rest of my college life “eye-fucking” Maia. It’s weird, you should know that.”

“He’s got a point,” Simon says. “I heard from Catarina that Camille Belcourt has her sneaky eyes on him and she can be very convincing.”

Alec frowns at that. “But Camille has a shady history. Magnus knows that, right?”

Simon shrugs. “I mean, he does but who knows. Maybe he will change his mind.”

No, that can’t happen. Shouldn’t happen. Alec was supposed to ask him out and get out of this flunk he’s been in but he doesn’t know what to do because, again, his brain shuts down.

“Tell you what,” Jace says, standing up and brushing his pants getting rid of the dirt there, “I have a plan.”

“That sounds awful,” Simon butts in. Alec agrees.

“Shut up. If I ask Maia out, you have to do the same with Magnus–”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Yes, I would,” Jace says, smiling. “I will go there and you’re up next.”

Jace doesn’t even wait for Alec’s response, he just turns around and jogs until he’s right there with Magnus’ group and already talking to Maia.

“Do you think she’s going to slap him?” Simon asks.

Both are watching how that train crashes slowly. Maia doesn’t look very excited.

“Let’s hope not. Red doesn’t look good on him,” Alec answers, to which Simon snorts and goes back to keep munching his chips.

A few minutes later, Jace comes back. He doesn’t look detached or even sad, but Jace is a professional when it comes to masking his feelings so Alec is not sure. At least, there’s not a red spot on his cheeks; that’s an improvement.

“What did she say?” Alec asks.

Jace shrugs. “That I’m delusional and crazy for even asking her that. To try again tomorrow.”

“She’s making you work for it. Good. Serves you right,” Simon says to which Jace just glares at him.

“I have time… Alec you’re up. Can’t back down now.”

Alec is going to say something, to refuse this foolery but then he sees Magnus walking closer to them and if Alec’s heart skips a beat, well, that’s between him and his foolish heart.

Without thinking, Alec stands up and stands there, wringing his hands nervously. This is the first time that Magnus comes to them… He’s probably coming to get Simon and that’s it; there’s no way he’s going to talk to him, not after those failed attempts at conversation and it would be—

“Hi,” Magnus says to him, smiling at him so sweetly.

Jace read that as his cue to drag Simon away to leave them relatively alone.

That foolish heart keeps hammering against his chest a mile per minute and he hopes against hope that Magnus doesn’t hear that.

“I wanted to ask you something.”

Alec nods. “Yeah. Go ahead. I’m… Yeah.”

Magnus smiles again. “Yes, so I’m… I was wondering if you would gout with me sometime.”

As always, his brain shuts down and he couldn’t catch what Magnus said. He doesn’t want to be hopeful, least he just heard wrong because the idea of Magnus asking him is surreal.

“You’re asking me out?”

Magnus nods.

Alec can’t help but laugh. “ _God,_ I thought this would never happen.” Because he was sure that if it depended on him, he would still be sitting down mulling over how he could approach Magnus.

“I figure one of us should step up,” Magnus says and right after that, his cheeks are tinted with blush. _Beautiful._

“I’m glad you asked me.”

And then they are smiling at each other and it can’t be more perfect than that. Alec is truly, madly, deep into this man.

“Well, I… I’ll talk to you later, so we can agree on a date?” Magnus says but it comes off as a question, a hopeful one.

Alec nods, trying to keep his excitement at bay. “For sure. Let me just give you my number.”

“No need.” And somehow, Magnus’ smile widens. “I already have it.”

Magnus straight-up winks at him and with that, he turns to leave, leaving Alec there astonished with a dopey smile on his lips.

He sees when Magnus reaches his group and they are all hollering and cheering him. Magnus turns for a moment and wave at him, and Alec does the same, dopey smile in place.

They haven’t gone out yet but he knows that Magnus Bane is a keeper.

**Author's Note:**

> isn't it sweet? 
> 
> i'm sure the post was aiming for a more smutty approach but this is what i came up. 
> 
> i love reading comments :)


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